It’s Okay Not to Be Okay
Photo by Andrik Langfield on Unsplash
I have a good friend who struggles with anxiety and depression. She has a real medical condition that she has been prescribed medication to help treat. It is a real struggle that affects how she lives her daily life.
A few months ago, she attended a United Methodist Church in a neighboring Conference where the pastor preached on the passage where Jesus tell us, “Do Not Worry.” The pastor essentially said, “If you worry, then you are not a Christian.” He harshly condemned people who struggle with worry and anxiety, saying that those people have a lack of faith. He said, “If you worry or struggle with anxiety, then you don’t really trust God.”
I know someone else who struggled with the loss of one of his close friends who passed away. In fact, he was right by his friend’s side when he died. He attempted to give his friend CPR but was unsuccessful. As you might imagine, he had a hard time dealing with this deep sense of loss. He also had a hard time dealing with this traumatic experience. He felt guilty.
His parents suggested that he should go and see a counselor. They made an appointment with an older minister who ended up challenged my friend about his faith. “If you were truly a Christian,” the pastor said, “Then you wouldn’t be sad that your friend died. Instead, you would be happy because he is now in heaven.”
Wow. Really?
When my friends recounted these stories about these two pastors, it made my blood boil. I’m sorry, but I have to completely disagree with these two “colleagues” of mine.
Who said you have to be okay all of the time?
No one can be happy 100% of the time. We all have good days and bad days. We all experience ups and downs. You don’t have to act like everything is okay on the outside when it feels like your whole world is falling apart on the inside. Your feelings are your feelings. Let yourself feel.
When I experienced a deep loss of someone close to me who had died, the best thing that someone said to me was, “Whatever you are feeling, it is okay to feel that way.” In other words, “It’s okay not to be okay.”
These pastors who think you have to have it together all the time are just dead wrong. It makes me wonder, have they even read the Bible before? The Bible is full of stories of people who are inadequate and don’t have it all together. We can think of numerous examples of people in Scripture who experience deep pain and sadness, and that doesn’t mean that God can’t still use them. Scripture reminds us that you don’t have to have it all together in order to be in relationship with God.
God is with you, whether you are happy or sad. God is with you, whether you are experiencing faith or doubt. God is with you, whether you are on the mountain or in the valley.
God is with you, and God will meet you where you are. There is always hope that things will get better. God’s grace is always there to surround us and overflow in our hearts and minds.
Those who know that God summons the sun to rise are confident that, whatever tomorrow brings, it will also bring God with it.”
– THOMAS G. LONG, (LONG MATTHEW 1997)
God is not going to leave us where God found us. There is hope for a future, because God moves and works in our lives all the time – But maybe right now you are in a place where it seems hopeless. And in the meantime, just remember…
It’s okay not to be okay.
